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this morning, a cow orker went to leave a voicemail message for a computer user. he started telling them that he'd fixed their machine and to come pick it up, when suddenly it said to him: "Your message is too short." and hung up on him. um. (HAHAHAHAHAHA! i absolutely love WTF-technology sometimes.)
Tue, Jul. 17th, 2007, 11:26 am
AAAAAAAAAAGH!
when you finally give in, and squeeze the Squeeze Chicken, it, um. attempts to lay an egg. (um.) AAAAAAAAGH. (never. AGAIN.)
a chicken! it probably means something. while away, for my Long *Weird* Weekend (mostly good, mostly good!), the office gnomes came by my desk. it's been awhile since they offered a gift, but they must love me again, for they left behind a mini rubber chicken. (not as mini as the voodoo chicken replicas, just, you know, smaller than a regular regulation-sized rubber chicken, or, um, the olympic-sized one.) actually, i'm almost sorry to have to report this, but its label informs me that this is a genuine "SQUEEZE CHICKEN". [ahem] i would like to officially offer this up as a new euphemism, for those of my friends who need to use them. (hm. i must find a suitable gift to leave in return.)
(it seemed somehow appropriate.) "But only Zathras have no-one to talk to. No-one manages poor Zathras, you see. So Zathras talks to dirt. Sometimes talks to walls, or talks to ceilings. But dirt is closer. Dirt is used, through everyone walking on it. Just like Zathras, but we've come to like it. It is our role. It is our destiny in the universe. So, you see, sometimes dirt has insects in it. And Zathras likes insects. Not so good for conversation, but much protein for diet. Ha! Zathras fix now, this way." (another of my favorites: "...this wrong tool. *Never* use this.")
kicking computers to make 'em work, tra la la! [looks at clock] this machine has been deleting Temporary Internet Files for one hour now. it's 13 percent done. WHEEEEEEEEEEE!
not *AGAIN*. [sighs] [gets cricket bat ready]
...Richard Gere's middle name is "Tiffany"? COOL. [goes off to laugh a bit more]
Wed, Apr. 25th, 2007, 03:21 pm
holy fuck.
just talked to my brother on the phone. my father's house burned to the ground on monday. (everyone is okay. except the house and everything in it.)
(printed on the back of a local sandwich shop menu, which was shaped to be hung on a door handle) "Knock and Die!
I need total peace and quiet. I'm in touch with a creative love vibe from the center of the earth, tapped into my own special personal meditative wavelength, tuned into all the earth's positive energy.
I think you know what I'm driving at: Disturb me, and I'll crack your skull like a walnut."
hello, my name is beth, and i am a Bad MovieHolic. (waits for "hello, beth".) i just thought i should admit, on my own LJ as well as the post i already made on the Bad Movie Night community, that i have actually paid money (more than one dollar, i might add) for the movie Anaconda. i lost my mind. i want revenge. i don't know, *something*. i do not blame myself, but rather, i point fingers at certain specific people. (if you think it's you, YEAH, IT IS. [giggles]) i am SO inflicting this on You People at some point soon. (yay, i got to use "You People"!!) anyway. i still can't believe i paid money for it. [attempts going through 12-step program] [takes step one: admitting that the movies HAVE A PROBLEM.]
"why yes, sir, your Windows should boot up okay now." (now that the chkdsk process has taken care of recovering the orphaned file "Stephanie Swift does Bukkake!.mpg", among many other interestingly named files, it should boot just fine, again. yep.)
oh yeah. i have *finally* gotten around to going back through lots of old posts and doing the keyword thing. there are sure going to end up being LOTS OF THEM. wow. heheh. but, this is fun. this tagging thing is more addictive and far less chore-like than i thought it would be. (..."You have all become victims of the Evil Midnight Bomber what bombs...Hey! Pay attention!")
er, no, wait. Bad Movie Night flashbacks again. sorry, sorry. [shakes head vigorously to clear bad memories of Costco greeters] anyway. what i meant to say was that today was a good day at work: after several hours of uncertainty and "this may work or it may not" computer-kicking, i rescued a woman's dissertation (which Windows XP had completely eaten, in a fit of pique or something). in the process i also found some other old files she had forgotten about and was going to be able to put to further use in finishing her work. i just looooove doin' stuff like that. she cried tears of joy. "...and when we come back tomorrow, we can settle up whatever the bill is, thank you thank you thank you thankyouthankyouthankyou," she said. me - "oh, didn't i mention? we don't charge." [grin] (admittedly, after she left, i did walk past a cow orker's office, dusting my hands efficiently, and said "well, my work is done here today. made a user cry." but i was unable to keep from adding "...but it was from happiness." which made said cow orker go "well, then. you *can't* go home yet. that's not right.") so now i'm home and lazing around, which is just lovely, thanks. and later on there will be some company here of the most wonderful sort, and that's fabulously good too. many yays!! also, adding one additional yay that i don't have to get up early tomorrow! [makes a mark on Clipboard Of Yay]
Sun, Mar. 18th, 2007, 08:49 am
"whoever can't manage to balance one more piece of trash on the garbage can has to take out the trash", right? that never works when one lives alone. [grumble]
...and here i thought i was gonna have to fill out a whole lotta busy-work-paperwork today, and was getting all set to be severely grouchy about it. as it turns out, the part that was due today, i already did earlier this week. the part that is due in a couple of weeks is already written. HAHAHAHA. [Fists O' Victory!]
book in hand, i'm off to attempt to catch up on the sleep i've needed for, oh, about three days now. SLEEP. ME NEED. ARGH. but i can't resist sharing this silliness. (yay, silliness!) here is just one very quick quote from the book i've been reading. ( The Areas of My Expertise by John Hodgman. you probably know Hodgman. he plays "PC" in the "PC/Mac" commercials that i love so dearly. "...you are slowly coming to a sad realization. Allow or Cancel?" [sigh] "...Allow...") anyway. before the preface, even, there is this: "This reasonably priced softcover Riverhead book contains the complete text of The Areas of My Expertise . NOT A SINGLE WORD HAS BEEN OMITTED. If you purchased this book without a cover, you should be aware that it was reported as "Unsold and Destroyed" to the publisher and is stolen property. Also, you should be aware that the cover was awesome. It featured a painting of a metallic silver dragon flying up either to rescue or to eat a beautiful, nearly nude sword maiden as she falls off a cliff. All of this is overseen by the bitter glare of the ever-uncaring Triple Suns. Plus, a very flattering portrait of the Author appears within the Main Sun.
If you purchased this book with a cover, you should know that this book was accidentally reported as "Sold and Not Destroyed" to the Publisher, and both the author and the publisher have received payment for it. It is unclear how this may have happened.
But in either case:
Under arrangement with the Publisher, purchasing this book frees you from the obligation to read it."
we're trying to decide what we're gonna call ourselves when we do a small re-org in the upcoming few months. the suggestion scrawled on the whiteboard when i came in today was: "Information Services Technology and Computer Care and Obfuscation Services". (too bad they didn't put "Services" in there at least one more time.) [giggles] (...i think we're perhaps getting a wee bit tired of this.)
Tue, Mar. 13th, 2007, 07:45 pm
oh GOOD.
fuckwits outside my windows, with a "how loud can these speakers go?!?" contest. and, bonus: they're parked, not driving by. my windows are rattling like someone is right outside with a fucking *jackhammer*. ....countdown begins... (not too much longer before i will apparently have to go and SMACK THE LIVING CRAP OUTTA SOMEONE.)
spreading word around of this website (with thanks to ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) serenejournal.) http://www.jordanmatter.com/exhibits/default.asp?name=nudes is the front page of a very very cool photography project (that reminded me of the law about topless-ness in New York). (click on the top picture to go into the all-pictures part of it.) yay, it's really beautiful art, with lots of types of people. (i suppose i should toss in the warning about how this isn't typically-work-safe, even though that doesn't apply to my own workplace. [warning, red alert, no one panic, there are boobs!])
seen on more than one of my usenet groups: It's Pi day on Wednesday!
(3-14)
A one second silence at 1:59:26
the only clock in the house that didn't reset correctly (for New Stoopid Daylight Saving Change) is my little bedside "atomic clock". see also -- more accurately named, a "radio clock". you know, the ones that are always supposed to be right, and you never need to set them or change them. riiiiight. somehow i suspected this one would be a problem. (this clock has been mysteriously off by one hour a couple of times before. before congress even starting mucking about with the time change.) and there's really no point in resetting it, because at some point it'll adjust itself again. hm. and now that i look them up, it seems that radio clocks might be known for being not entirely trustworthy anyway, not being exactly the same thing as a real atomic clock... i suppose i should just get a different clock for my bedroom. [grin]
overheard at work just now: "Hi, ignore me, I'm just stopping in for a moment, I'm not here!" "Are you sure you're not here? Because, just sayin', you look really REAL to me. ......No offense." (heheh. No Offense. bwahaha. sometimes those folks are downright funniful.) (and hooray for more energy. i was afraid i'd be face-down on my keyboard by now, but looks like i'll get through tonight's shift without that happening. yay!)
oh wait, no. i still have another shift tomorrow night too. [....fights the weariness] (at least tonight's shift is over in less than an hour.)
found a successful hidey place. well, sorta. also? i just got handed a brand new "Thailand" t-shirt from couple of grateful computer users, after i made their new handheld pen scanner stop being non-worky. [...fists of victory in the air] (and if i can manage it, i'm totally leaving early today.) [...puts on the Boots of Escaping in preparation] (another bonus is: my head? Not On Fire! YAY!)
oh good! i'd been looking for instructions on how to take care of.... oh wait, no. no, no, no no no. no. also? aieee. http://www.hatsofmeat.com/faqs.html(but at least i found a new name to call someone.) ("...ya big meat-hat, you.")
argh. i can't find my copy of The Big Over Easy. did i happen to lend it to one of you? how can i loan it and the sequel out if i keep losing it? (in other news, though, the Fleece Hat CAME HOME YAAAAAAY!) (that means it successfully reproduced. um, right?)
okay, so it is my hope that no one can see the steam coming from my ears. (if it wasn't my brane would have essploded by now. GRRR.) must.resist.urge.to.pound.someone.else's.h ead.on.desk. i'm also betting flailing and screaming wouldn't help. [scowl]
"Hell-bent bad syren."
i might just make one of these for a certain someone. (alas, it's in an infant size. um. i know there are knotorious knitters among my LJ-friends. can you size something like this up?) that's right, it's a SQUID HAT!
un. rea. son. a. bly. CO.LD. (that phrase was intact before i accidentally dropped it on the sidewalk.)
you know, the one that i kept asking people "hey, i didn't leave my hat at your place, did i?" it has finally found a home in the wild, apparently. i wish it all the best.
[dusts hands] it's still part of my Weekend (i'll spare the detailed explanation of the current work schedule, as i can sense eyes glazing at the very mention of the thought). yesterday was Do Nothing Day, and today seems to have inadvertently turned into Do All Sortsa Stuff day. so far, i've tidied the living room, burned the backup CDs, done dishes, and started the laundry. i'm considering finishing the laundry, too. [nodnodnod] best of all? COOL NEW CRAFT SUPPLIES have been obtained! (so what if the wait for a ride was stoopidly long and annoying. i do not care. there are SHINIES, awaiting their turn at being something even SHINIER! MANY YAYS!!)
bwahaha. also, heheheh. http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1738769(yeah, it's "work-safe", but there's a lot of screamy audience enthusiasm so turn yer audio down a little if you care about that sorta thing.)
decisions, decisions.
a very successful Bad Movie Night™ this evening, i must say. and yay! we lured fifi_the_turtle in, and now she is One With the Bad Movie Pain! bwahahaha! i refrained from wearing any color of walrus pants, for fear of causing possible allergic reactions. (you see how i do these thoughtful things for my friends?) and now that multiple colors have been brought into it, i realize that i have to find more walrus pants. just so i can say "walrus pants" over and over. everyone attending tonight's festivities received a copy of Teaserama from me, just for being brave enough to show up. (i have a couple of leftover copies. anyone? anyone?) i have great huge vast amounts of love for Bettie Page (yay, etc., and still totally gorgeous), but she sure couldn't dance, back in the fifties. [grin] anyway. thanks for the giggles, folks. muchly needed and muchly appreciated.
i'd go outside and build myself one or more of these before the snow melts off. bwahaha. also ha. it's Calvin's Snowman House of Horror!(if you build one, i fully expect photos to be taken and shared.)
wow. [blinkblink] saw this for the first time tonight, on teevee, and was forced to look it up to figure out just what the hell. "Orville Redenbacher" helps to welcome us to the Uncanny Valley. (pack a lunch, you never know how long you'll be there.) like, eek and stuff.
lessee. several loads of laundry. dishes washed. vacuuming all done. new oven tested (brownies baked, didn't burn like hell, yay this oven stops heating when it's told!) taxes dealt with (federal and state, and refunds on their way soon, yays!) Crap Picked Up From Floor of The Library (Fists of Victory appropriately displayed). whew. (edit: i have also now done the weeding-out of the remaining VHS tapes, which had needed to be done for several weeks, and there's still Hours Left In The Day. i'm starting to scare myself.) |
